


Mirrors Ch.9 - The Scientist

by imnotevil13



Series: Mirrors [10]
Category: Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: Air Force, Comatose, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Songfic, Traumatic Main Character, Vineyard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2014-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-25 08:23:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2614961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imnotevil13/pseuds/imnotevil13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be so hard<br/>I’m going back to the start<br/>[Coldplay – The Scientist]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mirrors Ch.9 - The Scientist

**Author's Note:**

> Translated to 中文 by [UshioK](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ushioK) on [here](http://blog.udn.com/STtoME/44960483).

Richard woke up with a loud gasp escaped from his lungs, pupil dilated and shivering lightly from his sweat. It was a dream about James, and though he can’t remembered, he sure that wasn’t a good one.

The rythm of his beating heart was still fast which made him felt uncomfortable on his bed. With a little hope he tried to caugh his breath and get hold on his heart again, tried to cleared his mind and relaxed. Then a quick glanced at his clock told him that he had overslept, almost three hours late from his normal schedule. Without a second thought, Richard jumped out of his bed and ran into his bathroom, trying to wipe away all of his damn mind with a cold water. 

A simple morning breakfast had been made after he clear off his brain. Just a scramble egg with sausage and some vegetable. When there’s no recipe from his late mother, Richard was not a person who could do some kitchen things very well, sometimes he choose to just jumped on his 997 and drove into nearby drive thru to get some meal. But the one he liked very much was drove into James’ house for a free meal. 

He still on his breakfast when his phone buzzing, begging for answering whoever was calling. And Jeremy’s name was on it’s caller ID, along with three missed call from the same person. 

_“Hammond?”_

“Clarkson.” 

_“Where are you now?”_

“Home, breakfast.” 

_“Where the hell have you been mate? I’ve tried to called you many times but it’s just your damn voice mail that answer me.”_

“I’m sorry, it’s been a hard days for me. Just say what happen.” 

_“Well, promised me if I told you, you will stay calm and –“_

“Is it James?” He said much too fast and accidentaly dropped his fork. 

_“Richard.”_

“Is it?” 

_“Richard please stop.”_ He paused a moment, _“Yes it’s about him.”_

That made this young man gulped in nervous, Please don’t tell me he’s gone, he thought. 

_“Rich, are you still there? Hey Rich –“_

“Yes, yes, how is he?” 

_“Don’t worry he’s on here, I’m with him right now.”_

“Oh God, thank you so much. I’ll come in minute.” He almost hung up when Jeremy shouting his name again. “What?” 

_“Promised me you will stay calm when you saw him.”_

“Promise.” Then he hung up. 

Though he said that, he sure he couldn’t do that. The fact was his heart beating fast and he began to panic, he tried wetting his lips but that couldn’t help. Jeremy just said that he’s there, no hint of his condition. And he said that Richard must promised him for not freaking out when he met James. 

What the hell is going on? 

Richard grabbed his phone and began texting Mark told him that he couldn’t visit his vineyard today then got up grabbing his Porsche’s key. “James, if you die when I found you, I will never forgive you.” 

The drove he took from his house to London Hospital felt three times longer than usuall, though he had take a shortcut. Then a figure of that white building could be visible a moment later, made him couldn’t wait to just jumped out of his car and ran immediatelly when he reach that place. 

“James May,” he said as he reached receptionist, “I need to know where’s James May being treated.” 

“Sir, please be calm, can I know who are you to him?” 

“Oh for God’s sake! Just tell me where is he!” 

“Sir, I’m sorry but I can’t – “

“Richard?” 

A woman voice called out Richard’s name had save that poor nurse from another Richard’s shouting. That hamster turned onto that sound and found Francie stood not far from him. 

She walked over to her friend and patted his shoulder. “You alright? You look somewhat –“

“Where’s James? Jeremy told me that he’s on here.” 

“Calm down Rich, thanks God I found you here,” she turned into that nurse and do apologize before pulled Richard away from there into James’ room. “What Jeremy had told you about?” 

“Not much, just said that James had arrived and he’s with him now.” 

“Nothing else?” 

That made Richard frowned and gave her a suspicious glare, “What do you mean _‘nothing else’_?” 

“Like when he had arrived I mean.” She got a shake head from him, “Well, James had arrived last night,” Richard eyes glared at her, “We’re gonna told you about this but we couldn’t do that. Not when you still like this.” 

He almost shouting but all was lost when his crystal clear speech. Francie was right, the Clarksons were right, they got their point for not telling him. Richard was still on his bad personality that time, and if they told him about James’ arrival they won’t be able to avoid the fact that at that time Richard would just went directly to the hospital like this. Only when it was midnight and everything could went wrong on his drive. 

“I’m sorry Rich.” 

“No, it’s okay. You’re right.” 

They walked in silent and reached the third floor of that hospital. Francie kept walking followed by Richard until she stop in front of a sliding door then glanced at him. “You sure Jeremy didn’t told you something else?” 

“No,” he silent for a moment, “He just said to promised him I won’t freaking out when I met James.” 

“Just that?” 

“Just that.” 

“Then I will say exactly the same to you.” 

“What do you mean?” Richard chocked his breath when he saw James laying on the mattress along with a variety of life-support equipment all around him. He could heard the gentle voice of James’ respirator or the beeping of his ECG(1). Jeremy – with his doctor uniform – sat on a small chair next to the bed and looked at Richard when that short man walked slowly toward them. 

“Hi mate.” 

“Jeremy,” he creak his voice, “What the hell had happen to him?” 

That old man moved from his chair so that he could let Richard sat at there. “I’ve been told that his heli had been shooting down. He remained in coma since his last surgery. There’s about seventeen-or-so men in there, almost half of them are dead but James and quite some other blokes are the only ones who’s better.” 

“Better!?” He snap out and grabbed Jeremy’s coat, hissing he said, “What do you mean he’s better!? Look at him! Look all of those fucking tools! How dare you saying that he’s okay!?” 

“My God, Richard! I’m not saying that he’s okay!” He took off Richard’s hand and eyeing his friend’s already crying eyes, “What I mean is, this is a miracle he can save from that accident without losing any part of his body. If you see what the hell had happened to his coleages you will think the same things as me. Now calm down,” he let go off Richard to let him sat again. 

“Tell me his report, all of them.” 

“You sure?” He just got a nodding answer from his coleage. Jeremy then raised his clipboard and began read James’ report, “Abrasion in the body, no GSW(2). Burns in the upper extremity(3), neck and chest. Puncture to the left head, open wound in the abdomen. Fracture in the ribs. Fracture collum femoris dextra(4), fracture of the spine and occipital bone(5).” He paused when he heard a groaned escaped from his mate’s mouth when he read that last two injuries, but he continued. “Sharpnel all up the arms, some on the body and legs. Possibility: brain damage, internal bleeding, paralysis, body trauma.” He fold back to another page, “Medical treatment: all being treated, at least five surgery, left in coma to raised his condition.” He closed his paper, watching Richard who trembling and didn’t said anything. He move his eyes on his wife who gave him a single nod, “We will wait you outside.” 

As that Clarksons went out Richard began to cry softly. He held James’ bruise hand and grabbed it softly, didn’t want to lose him. He bite his lips as he tried to get a better look at James’ face. There’s another bruise, a bandage wrapped around his head and a hint of blood still could be seen though he believed it was not as bad as before. He moved his eyes from James’ face onto his shoulder and found another bandage. All of the things that Jeremy had read before began to resound in his head. 

“I’m sorry James.” 

James eyes were closed, as if as he was on his deep slumber. The things that made everyone remember that he was still alive were his breathing and a beeping voice from his ECG. But that wasn’t enough to satisfied Richard Hammond, he need to saw James woke up, talking, not just laying hopelessly on top of this bed with a creepy hospital’s tools all around him. 

Jeremy and Francie came inside when Richard bend down his head and place it on James’ hand. He lifted up his head to take a quick glance at Jeremy then placed it back again, didn’t bother about what Jeremy would thought about him. His tears were still running down from his eyes, wetting James’ hand and that mattress. 

“Let me stay on here.” He said trembling, “I will tell Mark to get my clothes.” 

“I know you will said that, Francie and I have made some shcedule about when you two will alternate keeping him.” 

There’s no answer from Richard for a moment, “No, please. It was all because of me, I’m the one who made James went out for his job again.” 

Jeremy took a sharp breath, “But though all of this never happen we couldn’t deny the fact that James’ job is dangerous. There will still a chance for James to take a risk of his job. We all know that Richard.” 

They heard a groaned from Richard as an answer, a sign that he didn’t agree with what Jeremy had said. But when that doctor tried to speak again his wife grabbed his arm and shoke her head. 

“Well then Richard,” it was Francie, her voice was gentle like always, “It’s okay if you want to do it yourself, but please remember that we’re here as your help, James is our family too. Just keep in touch with us anytime, we mean that.” And with that she’s gone along with Jeremy. 

Leaving Richard alone with James on that room. 

# # #

It was almost a week since James’ arrival, and Richard condition was even worse than before. As if Richard was one of the patients in this hospital instead of a family member of one patient here. 

Though the Clarksons or Mark always taking their time to visit and helped him treat James, Richard didn’t have a heart to left him. He was only really leave when Francie kept pushing him to just go home for a better sleep or a bath or for the sake of his job. 

Just like this time, when Francie came and told him to went home because of his condition Richard refused her and sat stubbornly beside James. She just sighed and pitied him, then left two hours after that. Leaving a meal for Richard like always. 

**

Richard woke up from his slumber one day. He glanced at his watch and found out it was ten in the morning, another overslept. He groaned then walked into the bathroom to washed his face, hoping it could wipe away all of his tiredness. 

Then as if the God Almighty playing with Richard’s life, there’s a knock from the door just when Richard went out from the bathroom, he opened it and found a man stood tall in front of him, maybe just a year older than James. He looked handsome, with his light brown hair and gentle eyes and some get-well-soon flower on his hand and a backpack clung losely on his shoulder. 

“Can I help you?” 

“Hi, I’d like to met James May if you don’t mind. One of his friends on field.” 

“Yes, of course. Please come in.” 

That man walked inside, saying _‘thank you’_ to Richard before hand him his flower and sat beside James. Richard put those flowers on an empty vase while his eyes watching that man who kept his silent and eyeing James with something on his eyes. Somewhat made Richard’s heart clench a bit. 

“He’s a great man,” he said immediatelly which made Richard jumped a little. 

“Yeah, yes he is.” 

“It’s a pleasure for being his friend,” he glanced at Richard who stood beside him and smiled, “I’m Ben Collins by the way.” 

“Richard Hammond,” he replied shaking his hand, “Are you from the same squadron as him?” 

“Sort of. Met since the first time he joined us.” Ben moved his sight from Richard back to James, “The first week we met, I thought that he’s a little bit of....” 

“Annoying? Odd –“

“Old fashioned – “

“Aircraft enthusiast –“

“But smart.” 

“Brianiac.” Richard grinned. 

Their eyes met when Ben said, “You must knowing him very much.” 

_Of course I am_. “Not really much.” 

Ben smiled a little before leant forward on James’ bed, placed his hand right beside James’, “He ever told me, that though he ever want to be a fighter pilot like his father, deep inside his heart he wanted to be a surgeon. It’s quite pathetic seeing he’s the one who beeing treated instead of the one who make a treatment.” 

Richard’s eyebrow twitched a second when he heard that, _James never said that to me_ , he thought. He moved his position into half sat on James’ bed and began asking him. “It’s look like you are a best buddy of him.” 

That soldier chuckled, “You’re not the only person who said that. James is a good man, he’s easy to talk and loyal to his friends. A figure of great soldier and best brother on our squad. It is a pleasure for being one of his best friend.” 

“Yeah, you’re right.” A mental picture of James and this man laughing, helping at each other and spent all of their days together on field sharing their secret life didn’t help Richard to hide his bitter voice from his jealous or keeping him from asking, “I’m sorry for asking, but are you married yet?” 

“Is it any problem with that?” 

“No, just, wonder. I’m sorry, please do forget what I’ve asked you.” Richard left him and walked into the door, “Please enjoy your time, I will wait you outside.” 

“No, please just stay. I will no longer be here.” He waited for Richard to sit back before began to speak. “James always told me about someone he knew very much. Someone who mean everything for him.” He glance at James’ figure and continuing, “He said that he met that person before his life had change like this, and become mate not long after that. He said that that person is something special he never met before, a person who made him willing to give all of his life for them.” Ben move his eyes from James to Richard. “He love that person very much, somehow make me think that the person James’ in love is someone who are the luckiest one in the world.” He stood then glance at James for the last time and saying _‘get well soon’_ before walked into the door, followed by a red blushing Richard Hammond. They stopped in the doorway while Ben finished his sentence. “And it is an honor for me to be able meeting that person personally and knowing that their feeling are mutual.” He smiled then leaved. 

Made Richard just glared at him with his blush face. But then he snapped out and called him, “Thanks for spent your time seeing him.” 

Ben turned around and smiled, “No problem.” He said as he waved a goodbye. 

Richard went inside and sat beside James after that. He watch that man and grabbed his hand, letting his mind wandering about everything. About James’ laugh, James’ figure when he played his grand piano, James’ face when he confessed to him. 

The last thought made this short man blushing even redder and groaned in ashame. He placed their hand on his cheek and wishpering something for James. 

“Your friend had come earlier. He told me a little things about you and bring you those flowers. Without you knowing, you’re being loved by many people, James.” He kisses James’ hand, “Please, wake up. We missed you, I missed you.” Then just like always he stood up to kissed James’ forehead before walked away to get some food. 

**

“Ben?” 

A voice from behind him made Ben Collins stopped in the hallway and turned around. The only one he spotted from there was Jeremy with his doctor uniform and walked approached him. “Jeremy, it’s nice to met you again.” 

Jeremy replied his hand then walked side by side with him. “I thought you were still on your duty, didn’t even thought that we could met again.” 

“Just spent my day off visiting an old friend.” 

“Thanks for saving him by the way.” 

“He’s a good brother, he deserve to get that.” Ben shifted his backpack before saying, “Oh, I’ve met him. The one that James always told me about.” 

“Richard?” 

He nod a little, “Richard.” 

“What did he say when he saw you?” 

“Not much, just...,” he smiled when he remembered him, “He’s easy to be jealous. He even asked me wether I have been married or not.” 

That made Jeremy laughed and patted his shoulder, “Well done mate, is there anything else?” 

“No. But I could tell that he’s love James as much as James loved him, that made me kind of relief.” 

“Right, knowing that James’ feeling is not just an hollow hope.” 

They parted not long after that, saying goodbye at each other because Ben used his lift to reach the first floor while Jeremy choose an upper floor to continuing his general check up. 

# # #

Jeremy stood beside James when Richard come back from his house. Francie had gone mad after knowing that Richard was not home for more than three days again. And trust me, a mad Francie was more terrible than the worst car suspension. 

He write something on his board, an usuall duty from a doctor for his patient, and when he turned around he saw Richard stood beside that sofa. He gretted him with a simple good morning talk while he finishing his writing. 

“Is it allowed a doctor to sat at there on their check up hours?” He said when Jeremy sat on that small chair. 

“Oh shut up.” He glanced at his board once again then frowning, “Hammond, if I’m not wrong it’s almost a month since the first time he arrived, right?” Richard gave him a nod, “Well, there’s some news I want to tell you.” 

“Good or bad?” 

“Both of them. We need to move in my office if we want to discusse this.” 

“No, please, just tell me right now.” 

Jeremy gave him a look, “Well, okay, good news is, his condition is perfect, I meant he become better than before.” 

“That’s why you remove all of those life support.” 

“Right, can I continue?” Richard gave him a simple nod, “What I want to told you is his brain is working, and I’m sure he can hear us or understand everything that happens right now. It’s just like he’s wake up but sleeping.” 

“Doesn’t that mean he should be awake right now?” 

“Yes, in fact he should have been awake in four or five days ago.” 

“Is that your bad news?” 

“I’m afraid it is.” 

That made Richard went silent and threw his body on a nearby sofa. His expression told everything about his feeling as he ran his hand through his hair. Confused, disbelieve, hurt, angry, everything. They silent for a moment before finnaly Richard broke those creepy mood. “You’re not joking, right?” 

“I know it sound like an ugly midday tv drama but believe me I’m honnest with you.” 

“Is there anything you can do?” 

“I’m sorry I can’t. It’s beyond my reach.” Jeremy took a sharp breath then stood up from that chair. “All I know is, Richard, all of this depents on how much he want to come back in this life. And that means, from my point of view, depents on how much you could bring him back from his mind. That’s all.” 

“What do you mean that’s all? You are a doctor, how possible a most-logical-human-ever said something illogical like that!?” 

“Listen Hammond, there’s a moment when a doctor can’t do anything but pray for a miracle. We’re not God, we just do what we could do to help someone could still alive.” 

“James is alive!” 

“Yes he is, but he don’t want to!” 

That made Richard snapped from that sofa and watched him with his hurt eyes. “Why did you said things like that?” he hissed. 

“I’m sorry Rich, but that’s the truth. I’m trying to being logic in here.” Jeremy lifted up his hand to stopped Richard from gave him another argument. He took another deep breath to calmed himself before saying, “James is my friend too, more like family than a simple coleages. It’s hurt seeing him just laying hopelesly like this without anything I can do for him. Believe me, you’re not the only one who dissapoint in this situation, but you’re the only one who can save him from himself.” He placed back his pen on that pocket, “Please excusse me.” He said then left to continuing his job. 

Still with his complicated mind, Richard walked slowly toward James and sat beside him. He grabbed James hand and place his head on James’ pillow, letting some of those curly hair thickled his nose. 

He quite for a minute, didn’t want to said anything at all. A gentle squeze from his hand screaming out loud what he’s been thought right now. Richard opened his mouth but he closed it again, his lips trembling when he fough hard his own tears from falling down on his cheeks. Afraid that if he said something he’ll just crying hopelessly like before. 

“Is it true James?” He said at last. “Is it true that you didn’t want to wake up again? But why? Why you choose to death when you still had a chance to alive?” Richard’s barrier had broke, a single tear fell from his eyes, followed by another and another until he couldn’t speak anymore. 

A quite sob could be heard then. Just between James’ heavy breath and ECG, Richard’s sob somehow became the most alive things in this room. He grabbed James’ hand and inhaling sharply, hopelessly hunting James’ scent for filling his lungs and cure his broken heart. 

“I’m sorry James, I’m sorry.” 

Richard loosen his grip but he didn’t move his hand. He lifted up his head to take a look at James’ face from his blurry eyes then he kissed that cheeks lightly. 

“I’m sorry.” He wishpered, “Please wake up, I beg you James. Please, just open your eyes and sees me.” He move his hand to caress James’ curly hair. No words escape from his mouth because he decide to keep silent for a while, letting his only sob filling the air. 

“I love you James, please don’t die. Don’t leave me, I don’t know how to life without you, and I don’t want to trying. I want to hold your hand at night, every single night. And I want to saw your face in every morning I wake up from my sleep.” He continuing his caress, “Knowing that all of that is not just a dream. But a simple pleasure of fact I could have when I’m with you.” 

Without a second thought, Richard leant forward to captured James’ lips with his own. And just like what he had dream before, James’ lips was so soft but instead of cold he felt a warm lips from there, a simple sign that his Captain was alive. 

He pulled backward to wishpered another love and apologize line before kisses him again for a little more longer. 

Without knowing that Francie had watched him from the doorway and left quietly. 

**

Jeremy was sitting on his office with Francie accross the table. They talked about James’ condition and Jeremy told her everything. 

“So, we can’t do anything anymore?” 

“Yes, it’s all depent on both of them. I don’t want to sound nasty, but I think all of this is good for their own sake.” 

“Just hope that James could woke up soon after.” 

“It’s sad seeing them hurt.” 

“Any news from Mr.Dawe?” 

Jeremy grabbed his phone, “Nothing, but he know about his condition. Since James didn’t told him anything about situation like this, he told me to kept James’ condition until James’ himself is giving up.” 

“That’s good decision.” Francie half sighed and leant on her chair, “Maybe people’s right, just a kiss could help someone erase a little pain.” 

They quiet for a moment, but then Jeremy snaped from his daydream and watched his wife, “What did you say?” 

“You heard me.” 

“Come on dear, is it true they’re kissing?” 

“Well maybe it’s just my sight went a little wrong.” She stood up after gave his husband a wink and left him with a smile. 

# # #

Almost a week after Jeremy’s declaration, Richard never went home anymore though no matter how hard Francie had told him so. His lighten face now become gloomy like the first time James had arrived. Sometimes Francie felt angry to her husband because saying those setence, but that was all gone when she realise that if he didn’t do that there’s a chance for James for not ever wake up. And of course that will worried Richard Hammond. Beside it was his husband’s job for telling the truth about his patient’s condition to their family. 

**

It was rain when Richard decide to sleep that night. Not a heavy one, just a simple pure rain which fell down like a dew in the red morning of autumn. He sat beside James and told him a story about what has happened this day, like always. He grabbed James’ hand when he did that, squezze it lightly then kissed him when he done, murmuring a little _‘I love you James’_ in front of James’ face then walked away into that sofa. 

But for this night, when Richard closed his eyes, something different had happen. 

His peacefull night, a dream of him and James sitting side by side in front of James’ grand piano, all was gone when his ears caugh some noise from James’ direction. A noise, which only had one tone but sounds long, just a simple but frightening tone which could be heard in the middle of a vague tapped from the rain, awaken Richard from his slumber and force him to pull up his body immediatelly. Force his big brown round eyes stared in horror watching those green straight line as his ears kept refusing hearing that voice. 

“James!” 

0000000000000000000

Legends: 

1\. ECG = Electrocardiography

2\. GSW = Gun Shoot Wound

3\. Upper Extremity = Upper limb, including the arm, axilla and shoulder. 

4\. Fracture collum femoris dextra = Fracture in a right femur neck

5\. Occipital bone = A saucer-shaped membrane bone situated at the back and lower part of the cranium. 


End file.
